LIVE ROCK CRITIC SEVENTEEN: THE TRASH CAN

LIVE ROCK CRITIC SEVENTEEN: The Trash Can:       Foster the People  Lady Antellum
                                                              Black Star  K-OS  Widespread Panic

I have had the black bar put over my face not to block my vision or to suggest blindness but to obscure my identity and warn those with no stomach for negative reviews. Think about the faces who’s identity was obscured by the black bar over the eyes back in the mid last century. The Chicago vice police burst in and right behind them the intrepid crime photographer lifts his camera and bangs off a huge flash from a nine inch aluminums reflector. POW ! The lights are on the prostitute and her john and when the picture appears in the news paper it has these black bars to obscure the identity to avoid the terrible shame or exposure of prohibited body parts or staring out from negative reviews.                                            

My first Live Rock Critic reviews were reviews of performers who appeared on Saturday Night Live. I wonder sometimes how the decision is made to have a band such as “Foster The People” on Saturday Night Live. At the end of their second song, Kenny G. sat in on clarinet. Now that we’ve gotten over the good parts on with the trashing.

Am I dated or is posing a huge industry. I thought the music was mediocre, both songs schmaltzy light pop. Vocalist Mark Foster scoots around stage wiggling his fat little girlish ass with the ugh handles in between bouts of crooning in a weak amateurish voice. Foster dances about and then poses at playing keyboard pressing two pre-programmed keys. Mark has developed some form of foot noodling procedure in lieu of dancing. Its not cute.

                                                                                 
The song “Pumped Up Kicks” has a catchy hook which is repeated so many times that I begin to get ill at the thought of hearing it again. I am astounded to hear that the song, the band and the video seem to get work, get nominated and get 29 million hits on Youtube. I found the music video to be boring, not related in any way to kicks.

The second song “Houdini” added a three man horn section and instrument changes all around as if it mattered. The audience which follows “Foster the People” looks like it could be composed of mostly teenyboppers and I do not see how this really crosses over and connects with the audience of Saturday Night Live.

                                                                       
The preceding Saturday Night Live featured music guest “Lady Antebellum”, another dammed poseur fest with auto tune. There is nothing to say but that Lady A produces schmaltz, the Laurence Welk of Country.
                                                                      
Last week was a great week for lousy performances on HDTV. Long-time leader of the pack of musical mediocrity on HDTV, Steven Colbert hosted a crap rap performance by the former rap icon “Mos Deff”, or whatever, now trafficking his hasty rhymes as “Yasiin Bey” and “Talib Kweli” whoever he is joined him to deliver perhaps the most amateurish self serving and weak rap performance I have ever seen. Yas and Tal claim that we are getting their Black Star stuff right from them without a corporate intermediary. Guys there is all kinds of crap available without corporate intermediary, just head for the nearest dog park.

When are we going to get real about the worthless music genre rap. Imitating the supposedly main stream sport jacket and tie white man is this supposed to indicate some change has come over rap. If it has it is just more lameness. In my opinion Black Star, Black Star, Black Star only you think you are. What ever they have to say but look sharp slim down so what the lyrics appear to be the first rhyme that comes to mind. I am going to watch and review Tom Petty in Live Rock Critic Eighteen to Yasiin Bey Talib Kweli and Steven Colbert know that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are here on this same earth as “Black Star”.

While I am trashing rap I will deal with “K-OS” I caught K-OS performance on George Stroumboulopoulos. Ridiculous getup, historical references to Dylan Markley and Krs-One for whatever that means. He claims Kanon and Drake are his sons. And then out he comes with the same old so what lyrics. Tries to get audience participation, fails. Then K-OS sings, bad idea, weak. More weak with acoustic guitar lead. George loves him he loves George.

I tried to find a picture of K-OS dressed as he was for his performance on George Stroumboulopoulos. He was wearing a stupid hat, over sized orange glasses and some sort of a red blanket, idiotwear by K-OS.                                                                        
I am told that I should listen to the lyrics, “I have it easy” over and over, in between the usual to the beat of kitchen utensil rhythm rap.
                                                                               
Widespread Panic played live at the Georgia Theatre in Athens Georgia. It took a bit of consideration before I decided that this band was destined for a negative review. Perhaps if the performance had included only a couple of songs I would not have viewed the band as lacking.
                                                                           
The Georgia Theatre in Athens Georgia has great laser light show. Jimmy Herring has a great guitar sound, starts out with an old Sunburst Telecaster but it’s a bit to much like blues jam guitar for me. I find it gets boring soon.                                        
                                                                                                                  
There is a lack on continuity to the bands work while there is an unstimulating sameness. Especially later in the performance where the same highly sustained guitar sound dominates, a warbling and whistling and then predictably toughens up but not much to quickly resume highly sustained sameness and grim of visage as a headsman is Jimmy Herring. He does not seem to be enjoying himself, looks like stage fright.
                                                                           
Good drums by Tod Nance, Dominigo Cortez provides percussion. If you watch closely, similarly to some of the percussive moves made by members of Foster, you can see the percussion but you can’t hear it. Particularly note worthy is the Dominigo effort on a series of graduated tube chimes, inaudible but he does it more than once.

John Bell has a very nice Rickenbacker which he uses to form a framework that keeps the band together as much as it is. His voice wears on me very quickly. Sounds like the voice rednecks use when their calling cops or complaining. The reedy hillbilly vocals go on and on from one song to the next with little change. Dave Schools has an interesting six string bass.

Members of Widespread Panic are making cool individual sounds but the tune meanders about so much I don’t find that it makes it. It makes me wonder if many live jams I played harmonica at were as good as they seemed to the players. I always tried to integrate the tune and the nuances of the vocal into my extensive very load harmonica solos. I hope it really worked.

There was a lot of noodling on piano Jo Jo Herman along with some very good twarbling, but noodling still by lead guitar player Jimmy Herring. A band that is not well rehearsed will lag and start, I think, and become unsynchronized at times. Watch the audience dancing. If they are stumbling and bumping there is a flaw in the music. Check out the HDNET Foreigner concert and see how the dancing by the audience goes. Jimmy Herring brings out his PRS or B3. The wonderful sounds and the great licks could be used to compose dramatic imagery. I don not think that Herring handles being on stage very well he is his shell spraying out wonder sound, but its getting more and more the same.

                                                                               

The organ in Widespread Panic has its moments, Jo Jo Herman; during a song about a sleepy monkey the band plays together and has a really good point. I wonder what the audience thinks. Are they aware of the sameness or are they lost in the moment of the live performance enjoying the good sounds as they happen. There was not a lot of applause at the Georgia Theatre.

                                                                             

LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIXTEEN IN SEARCH OF EXCELLENCE

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS       DEEP PURPLE        FOREIGNER

LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIXTEEN:         SEARCH FOR EXCELLENCE

                                                                          
I have written so many bad reviews that I thought I might be characterized as a negative critic. A search of HDTV live rock recordings was undertaken and for a while Bush, Jet and Cheap Trick were on my list of excellent live performance bands; I highly recommend their live performance videos.

Deep Purple founded in 1968 at Hertford England has sold 100 million albums. That has nothing to do with LIVE ROCK CRITIC. I criticize and I praise contemporary live rock performance. In 2006 Deep Purple performed at the Montreux Jazz Festival.

                                                                            
Most impressive in their start: Boom Boom right out of the box. Ian Gillian sings so clearly and when he lets loose he has incredible power and a clean multi-octave vocal range.

Rodger Glover on bass and Steve Morse are masters of the huge stacks of speakers and powerful amps. The instruments are under superb unfailing control. More control than Billy Corgan but not as psychedelic. “Rapture Of The Deep” in deed with a surreality akin to Pink Floyd. Deep Purple guitarist Steve Morse constantly progressively accurately changes along with the exotic composition of my favourite cuts in “Rapture of the Deep”.

And the organ chimed and raged and pealed thunder in perfectly proclaimed notes of neo-classical hard rock. Don Ariey has a Kurzweil on top of his Hammond organ must be a B3, Don plays incredible innovative beyond organ. Ariey might be the most incredible organist I have ever heard.

Bass organ and guitar all together  create such a heavy perfect rage of instrumental power. This band sounds large.

The early week spot was a boring Steve Morse solo not up to Deep Purple class. Many people would be impressed but like Morse’s following Hendrix tribute, heard it to much perhaps. Deep Purple played some very good neo- classical music but I did not like it nearly as much as the beautiful jazz number which Deep Purple played because it was “The Montreux Jazz Festival”.

The three bands which I will review are not necessarily one two three, but peers, equals in excellence in many ways. My personal taste leaves the best for last. Right in the middle Foreigner. Foreigner is performing in 2010 at the Ryman Theatre in Nashville Tennessee.

                                                                            
King Crimson guitarist Mick Jones founded Foreigner in 1976 with Ian McDonald. By 2010 Mark Schulman, joined 1992 plays drums and does backup vocals. Thom Gimbell plays guitar saxophone and flute. Jeff Pilson plays bass and assists with vocals which are handled by the incredible Kelly Hansen  Foreigner’s new vocalist. I can not believe how strong Hanson’s voice is and how long it can last in concert. Michael Bluestein, joined 2008 plays keys, synths and assists with vocals as does Colin Pilsner who plays bass.

Foreigner’s classic hits are reprised with time machine like perfection. “Waiting For A Girl Like You”, “ I Want To Know What Love Is”, “Dirty White Boy”, “Juke Box Hero”, and most of all “Urgent” are songs which I remember dancing to in clubs for decades. With the exception of the first two songs I had no idea that Foreigner was responsible for so many great dancing tunes and I am sure there are many more which I have not recognized as the work of this powerhouse hard rock band. I had known them for their incredible moody scene setting music such as “Waiting for a girl like you”. Their first hit “Feels Like The First Time” I don’t really care for that much so many of their other songs are better. Other critics recognize Foreigner as a long time top rated concert touring band. Mick Jones is the founder and the main driving force in Foreigner.

                                                                             
 Mick plays some very nice piano on synthesiser and his steady Les Paul guitar constantly perfect but never flashy mindless showing off such as we saw with Ted Nugent who probably thinks he’s better than Mick Jones but he’s not. For steady guitar propulsion of a band its possible that there’s nobody better than Mick. Talented musicians produce great music I highly recommended listening to all of the new and hit songs of Foreigner.

The Smashing Pumpkins, live in 2008 "The Fillmore Residency"top my list of what I found on HDTV. The Smashing Pumpkins have not always been as great as in San Francisco in 2008 at the Fillmore Auditorium. This critique is about this concert as it was provided on HDTV.
                                                                 
The Smashing Pumpkins were formed in Chicago in 1988 by Billy Corgan who writes most of the songs sings and plays guitar and James Iha. Today’s line-up is different from that of 2008, with Nicole Fiorentino and Mike Byrne, Jeff Schroeder and Billy Corgan  working on “Teargarden”.

The Smashing Pumpkins had disbanded in 2000 due to conflict and drug use, I viewed a 1999 performance and it is nothing like 2008.

                                                                            
Billy Corgan had written new songs and in 2006 got together again with Jimmy Chamberlin and there had been a number of different musicians, up to 10 members, but by the time of 2008 “The Fillmore Residency” Lisa Harrington played keyboard, Jeff Schroeder played guitar and everybody sang backup to Billy Corgan including an occasional vocal from bassist Ginger Reyes.

I was not that impressed with the first songs with acoustic guitar but I am sure fans of this genre would find Corgan’s work excellent. By the third song “Ninety Nine Floors” continuing through “Blue Skies Bring Tears” and “SuperChrist” the Smashing Pumpkins take us on a psychedelic

                                                                              
journey. The band swells together in alchemical transmutation. The Smashing Pumpkins produced heavy rock with extreme psychedelic composition and drama. I am impressed and entertained, transported as I have asked to be to another space. Such heavy space, such wide sound and so perfect, so clear and wild as a wind storm with lightning and thunder, bleak black speeding clouds and rays of shinning light. This is the sound and what it brings to mind, I am typing as I listen. I think that this concert and its compositions are so complex and deep that I could listen to these songs more than once. The psychedelic rock is done so perfectly that I am awe struck and I have low end sound, I am hearing the performances on the speakers of a Sony 955XS.

I highly recommend viewing this performance The Smashing Pumpkins “The Fillmore Residency”, on HDTV.
                                                                               

LIVE ROCK CRITIC FIFTEEN RADIOHEAD

RADIOHEAD performed on the "Steven Colbert Show" September 26th 2011

Radiohead was founded in 1985 in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, UK. Rolling Stone Magazine rated Radiohead 73rd on its list of top rated entertainers. Thom Yorke who fronts Radiohead plays keyboard and guitar and was rated, one of the "greatest singers". Ed O'Brien and Colin Greenwood were included in the list of "greatest guitar players". The album "Ok Computer" mystifies me with its iconic rating.

This song is not from OK Computer but it is a typical Radiohead song which you can play while you read the blog.                                                           
Live performance on Steven Colbert, do I detect mutual disappointment, Radiohead unhappy about the blatant Doctor Pepper corporate pandering and Steven I think disappointed in the "ponderous noodling" of Radiohead.

Ponderous noodling, has this been the fare of Radiohead fans for twenty years. I detect an attempt to recreate the slow heavy movement of the Beatles. Radiohead's first number "Daily Mail" is a previously unreleased track, I think that Radiohead failed to create "Daily Mail" live. Its possible that some of the ponderous Beatle cuts would not have been performed very well live. I would compare the attempt by Radiohead to create the slow heavy British psychedelic sound to the successful "The Smashing Pumpkins" which I will review in Live Rock Critic Sixteen. Here are "The Smashing Pumpkins. "Disarm"     

The demeanour and antics of Thom Yorke appear to me to be forced and to be in imitation of such performers as Bono in U2. Thom doesn't appear to move in a manner which is synchronized with the music. He jumps around and flaps about and shakes his head incessantly.

I would describe a lot of the "music" of Radiohead as cacophony a misinterpretation once again of Beatle music such as "A Day In The Life". A search of Radiohead albums leaves me baffled as to what fans saw in this weak and unorganized music. It seems that perhaps if they rehearsed more they might be able to get across what they are driving at. The supposedly great and definitive of the nineties "OK Computer" is crude dubbing and dated fading and swirling. A particularly bad song is recorded when Radiohead tries to get wild and can't in "Climbing Up the Walls". John Greenwood on guitar and Phil Selway on drums complete the Radiohead core band.

When Radiohead performed on "The Steven Colbert Show" they bought an extra bass player and a horn section with them. If there is one thing makes ponderous noodling unbearable it is being noodled upon ponderously by a huge uncoordinated group of musicians. The standing around waiting which occupied so much of the Radiohead performance is very boring and if the members of the ensemble would view themselves they look really dorky.

Radiohead espouses an anti-corporate and socially democratic political agenda but it performs as an autocratic dictatorship and sole proprietorship. Thom Yorke is certainly over featured. The weak start where one person softly noodles is truly an unimpressive beginning for a song. Radiohead does not fail to deliver as promised, not really rising ever to the position of strength which is a prerequisite for a rock band. I will probably hear from a bunch of "Radiohead is great" people and I say in advance, get a grip, Radiohead is no good any more, if indeed they ever were any good live.

                                                                               

TED NUGENT LIVE ROCK CRITIC FOURTEEN

TED NUGENT LIVE AT   PENN'S PEAK, JIM THORPE, PENNSYLVANNIA, AUGUST 2011

Ted Nugent is a great guitar player and he can sing. Dekek St. Holmes likewise. Greg Smith moves along on the Fender Precision Bass. Mick Brown is a good drummer.  I am going to listen again to Ted Nugent Live: I Still Believe.

Ted starts out with a Gibson 335 or maybe it is a 345. (I own a very similar Gibson ES 347 with an acorn head inlay.) I am amazed at what Ted's guitar sounds like, perhaps Ted is really strong, I cannot fly away like Ted does, those hollow body Gibsons are Mack Truck like compared to the solid body Les Pauls which seem fast and sporty. Ted has a collection of custom Gibsons with the Abalone inlay on the fret-boards and the varying head piece inlays. I am not sure which are best I really like the big Turkish Cross on my 1970 Black Beauty. I was watching Ted Nugent's guitars for the Turkish Cross and then I realized I had seen the Turkish Cross head ornament on a blue Gibson SG played by the guitar player for the newly reformed "Cars". The new Cars performed live on Steven Colbert sometime in the first week of August. They didn't sound like the old Cars I remember. Whomsoever was singing cannot sing. The guitar licks were very tasteful and the blue SG with the Turkish Cross sounded a lot better than most of the SG's I hear.

Derek St. Holmes has the acorn on the Gibson hollow body guitar he opens with, which looks like a 175. Ted Nugent has a chalice with flames on several of his Gibson hollow body guitars. Later in the performance Ted plays an American Flag Les Paul and then the speed of the entire band accelerates dramatically. The only flaw I sense is probably not a concern nor even discernible to most of Ted's fans. I could be wrong but Ted sounds slightly flat. Could the Nigerian Rebels" tune some part of a tone flat as Stevie Ray Vaughn is reputed to have done? This is the only flaw I could point to with the music. The composition I don't know what to say, Ted is not trying to be a story teller. The lyrics are dumb and repetitive and the yap might even be worse than rap. With that in mind I took a second look at Niki Minaj trying to appreciate her hip-hop stylings. On careful study, she has some interesting story telling and attitude declaring and she trips out and transcends the ordinary in her portrayals. Ted is on a Ted and his guitar trip. From time to time Ted tonally transcends but generally  it is an electric band stage performance, be in awe.

 The best tightest band? Lynerd Skynerd from 2009 just happened to play after Ted Nugent, oh my, oh my, can those old boys play. Ted is playing the tune I thought the greatest music, Dog Eat Dog. I guess the drummer "Wild Mick Smith" is better than good. Ted Nugent calls his tunes Motown classics but I hear blues and the Excellent Fresh Nugent Noddles may have inspired much bland noodling that I found annoying. I still do not like Ted's noodling that much and there is a lot of noodling.
 I could not end without mentioning the incredible sounds made by St. Holmes' and Nugent's Paul Reid Smith guitars. Just Incredible! Is there some one working effects, as I see neither guitarist working effects. If the guitars are being changed so much simply by how they are played this authentic performance is a tremendous show of musical power.

Part of the review process involves looking and listening to other bands who are reputed to be good. I went and looked at Niki Minaj. Niki portrays strories and declares attitudes in an art form I would classify as hip hop, in that she raps and sings, I reviewd Lupe Fiasco sometime ago and I was accused of being prejudiced  against rap. The comparison between between Niki Minaj and Lupe Fiasco leaves Lupe looking un-artistic uninventive and boring.

My digital recording of Ted Nugent: I Still Believe ran long and I accidentally recorded part of a 2009 Lynerd Skynerd live performance. I thought that every aspect of the Lynerd Skynerd performance was superior to anything Ted Nugent and TheNigerian Rebels performed at Penn"s Peak. I am transported to another place by Lynerd Skynerd, their songs are transcendent. Ronny Van Zant sings so well and so much I simply can't believe that a singer's voice could hold out for most of two and one half hours.

Ted Nugent continually raves about himself and his band. It is strange and gross. The flag raising and machine gun waving at the end of Ted Nugent: I Still Believe at Penn's Peak was truly a low point in Rock and Roll Intellect. I am amazed that such a good guitar player could be so dumb otherwise. Ted says that he is always clean and sober.

                                                                                                       

SHEEPDOGS on JAY LENO LIVE ROCK CRITIC THIRTEEN

SHEEPDOGS:     LIVE  ROCK CRITIC      THIRTEEN      JAY LENO     Aug 2011

                                                                           
Ray and the boys are performing at the Don Strange Ranch in Boerne Texas. The Sheepdogs performed on Jay Leno's Show and David Letterman hosted Explosion, Dave gets the "Dumhost" award. I have and I apologise, complained, but the David Letterman "Explosions In The Sky" absolutely flabbergasted me at how bad they played, how directionless they were and how nowhere the composition went, lyricless and cacophonic and at the same time the pinch faced freaked out hippies or whatever messy shrubs they were really knew they were bombing. THEN THE AUDIENCE APPLAUDED ! I decided that seeing I had Dave and Jay on the DVR to catch the "Sheepdogs" I had better check up on these Rubes to see if they were as dumb as the "Explosions" who burned as brightly and explosively as a campfire done from very wet wood in a very damp climate.

                                                                           
How dumb are the "The Tonight Show" and "David Letterman" ? Really dumb. The long time TV drones seek out minor embarrassments, stupid unentertaining guests, dumb stuff, as if their shows were not dumb and boring enough and they could not just watch the monitors to see lots of dumb embarrassment punctuated with drum snaps and rolls, the house bands on the NBC Jay Show and CBS  are really good , without the music the dumbness would be even more gross . The stupid lists of ten whatevers. I have to force myself not to fast forward right away . I am going to review them so I have to .

The worst and most boring things I have seen on Jay Leno and David Letterman are the endless mindless meandering and then shamelessly self promoting celebrity interviews. Then they watch and yak and barf about movie trailers, are you entertained ? Some of the cloying mutual fawn fests go on for half an hour !

                                                                        
The Sheepdogs on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine , I won't say much. I learned to play harmonica with many ensembles like the Sheepdogs. I remember the night I thought how boring the bar blues are. I will not ever be able to play this kind of music again. What is the problem with the genre of music ? There is the sameness. With rare exceptions the bar blues are bar boring. Something familiar to orchestrate the drinking. I often observe that the sounds are not those of music with rock blues and jazz bands. There are traditionally associated riffs rolls and ratches but the sounds do not comprise a tune, even if they are cool sounds. What is that special something which makes a tune a tune  ?  I believe that the lyrics and the music should do more than tell a story, protest or profess. The entire performance, live video recorded or animated and set to a musical score, should set the scene, put a feeling in the air and take the viewer and listener somewhere which is transcendent.

The Sheepdogs were not transcendent. I viewed a number of Sheepdogs offerings on Youtube. More of the same and worse they have sycophants uttering false praise. Someone wrote that they had missed out on Zeppelin and the Southern Rockers and now here they back as the Sheepdogs. I am not even reluctant to say that these boys are nothing like the Southern Rock Bands. Those bands soar they fall they flutter and get back up growing. I was at the Fillmore in SF in 1968, I saw Allman Joy, with Paul Butterfield and Nicky Hopkins. For god sake don't think the Sheepdogs are anything like the Allman brothers .  To equate the Sheepdogs with Led Zeppelin is beyond absurd. I was fortunate enough to play harmonica on a number of occasions with well rehearsed Zep Bands. They fly, they are so wild they are so fast and they are so slow and they are so loud. Contrary to popular belief it is not easy to play loud.

I did view an entire concert from the Don Strange Ranch and I saw a band that can play well. The Pariah Dogs are good and they are playing a lot of the types of music I dislike as much as Rap and Hip Hop. It is possible I only really tolerate hard rock, progressive rock, jazz, funk and fusion.

Ray LaMontaigne  plays some creditable Harmonica. Not all of his tones are right, and only one of his songs had good harmonica in it. I would not enjoy playing harmonica with the Sheepdogs. When the Pariah dogs stepped out of character and played a fast moving Jazz number. I would like to have been counted in. I would be really excited to play harmonica with Ray LaMontaingne and his band when they do Jazz. Although a lot of the rest of the performance was too countrified for me I wouldn`t be surprised if a lot of people enjoyed everything that this band played. It`s a really big band, the slide guitar player who also plays guitar is a bit of a star and Ray sings and leads the band. Its hard to play loud buts its also hard to play well with a large group of musicians and everyone in the band plays well. I believe that this is a fairly new band and you might find it interesting to watch for Ray LaMontaingne and the Pariah Dogs.

                                                                       

LIVE ROCK CRITIC TWELVE SMASH MOUTH July 2011

Smash Mouth live at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas, July 2011.

                                                    

They were horrible. Hype had been generated that Smash Mouth was going to be a great event.

That was so far from the truth. The vocals were bad, off key and tuneless. The band played so sparsely that it was almost like one of those little African finger pianos,  plunking and tapping. I was surprised that such an amateurish performance would even be tolerated at an establishment as well known as the Hard Rock Cafe. I wonder what social or economic mechanism brings about such a situation.

I am not sure what audience was being groomed, as I considered the appearance of the band members, the choice of clothing and repeat numbers which sounded very much alike. I apologise that I have written so many negative reviews, it seems that good acts are few and far between.

I was surprised at the solid wall of sound put out by "RadioHead" in concert in England recently, I caught a couple of numbers they did on HDTV.

LIVE ROCK CRITIC ELEVEN Stephen Colbert's Stephest 2011

Stephen Colbert screams "Rock and Roll" and serves weak schmaltz, schlock and hip hop. Jack White is touted as Rock Guitar God and it seemed that Stephen was promising Jack White would play on day four.

Honestly, readers I am looking for  something really really good to tell you about. (Play the Peter Paul and Mary Video to set the mood while you read the blog

The formula sameness of Bon Iver in a single song is grossly unremarkable. Bon sings in a high voice to be different from himself or somebody else but the simple singing high does not take out the boring sameness and the formula tempo rises and declines are crushing boring to me. I have a "so what" feeling.

It is similar with Florence and the Machine. The intro is suppose to be haunting and intriguing but it is a lot like Bon Iver's contrived tempo changes, boring. The music is sparse and unmelodic and Florence goes on and on and on. The concept of rock performance as a dynamic event is missing and Florence goes on and on with her vocal with barely a break.

Talib Kweila on Wednesday, why I asked about all three bands? The pathetic hip hop genre with rapping singing hop is ungodly boring not entertainment. The Colbert Stephest rock extravaganza is about as rock as Peter Paul and Mary. I was watching a Rolling Stones concert at the Max on HDTV, Two Thousand Light Years From Home was done very nicely. Grace slick was perfect in a new Jefferson Starship live with C.Y.O but not so for most of the rest of the performers. In any case Potter fans should compare Graces.

                                                    
On Thursday night Stephen Colbert sang with the Black Belles and I really realized I had been had. The Belles play adequately but not with inspiration was very disappointed at the whole week of posing. When poseur in chief Stephen Colbert tried to rock up to the Belle's guitar player she recoiled.

Guitar God Jack White for whom I was waiting was not going to play his guitar. Just all the awkward uncomfortable discussions with a not very funny Stephen Colbert.

LADY GAGA HERITIC LIVE ROCK CRITIC TEN

LIVE  ROCK  CRITIC  TEN    LADY  GAGA  HERETIC

Justine Timberlake hosted Saturday Night Live May 12th 2011, Lady Gaga was the musical guest.

"Born This Way", all of the artistic composing skills of a Casio Auto Play. Grabbing her crotch twice Gaga walks forward, does the Galvanic frog leg thing whirls the ridiculous blond ponytail, walks back, walks ahead, spins with little style, squats, slips and straightens up. The meaningless choreography marches on more like a fitness session than art.

What about the band? Am I hopelessly a perfectionist not willing to accept the mediocre pumping bump and grind, the soulless blasting sameness, even when the tune changes. I find this hard to accept as top level Rock and Roll.

Heresy! I am sure that the music pumps along, complete with Gaga from yesterday backing Gaga today , Live?  sing the stop motion, slow motion and infinite number of reviews which the DVR makes possible I see guitars which are not being played. Acquire a DVR recording and watch the guitarist's hand block the guitar strings. Carefully watch the picking when it is not happening. Am I mistaken? Are these not really musicians but just more dancers artlessly fabricating Lady Gaga's intellectually and morally bankrupt posturing, not actually musicians creating the music. It seems to me to be to a large degree prerecorded. During the performance Lady Gaga walks over to centre stage and some prerecorded Gaga voice with a hyped up autotune sings out "Judas, Judas, Judas.......". In my opinion this is an act of heresy.Furthermore, during interviews and live on stage at Madison Square Gardens Gaga claims that she does not lip sync; singing along is every bit as tacky as lip syncing and it could even be worse  when these glitches are an obvious lack of precision skill and style.

I say to myself: Who writes such crap music as "Born This Way". It reminds me of the Eurhythmic's tune "Sweet Dreams". Does some Patch Blender say, Steff, lets save a lot of time I can whip up a patch, or is the mind of the composer Lady Gaga that bland repetitious and strident over nothing? I knew when Gaga accused "Judas  Judas  Judas......." that she was referring to her former "boy" friend Luc Carl.

What do I find wrong with the Lady Gaga vocals? They don't really fly. They pump and growl. The vocal and the choreography portray a chaotic meaninglessness but for the constant repetition. Is there a more skillful method of reinforcement than repetition? I surely hope so. Pause the DVR and witness ugly posturing, in my  opinion, open crotched splay legged dissolution. I find the dancing by the Gaga troupe to be ugly and unsynchronized. I know that the lack of symmetry and the inconsistent timing of identical dance moves is not intentional, it is sloppy and unskilled. Pause the DVR again and witness ugly facial expressions  o defiance and pouting pouffery. Much of the choreography is reminisent of  really cheap go go bar dancing by amatuers.

There is the phenomena of the Phantom Chorus. I hear echoes of voices and voices in the background and there are no other singers. Stefani is singing along with prerecorded or software produced Sefani. The fakery is used in the studio with equal illegitimacy but during a live performance by a self  proclaimed live performer, it is heresy. It goes against every honest principal of her performance and the back vocal keeps on, I am sure it is not an echo.

The song "Born This Way" degenerates into yowling out the slogan over and over. The repetition is irritating. Another feature of the second number is constantly changing songs. Unrelated and conflicting song parts exist then disappear forever themeless and without continuity.

Lady Gaga performances are self aggrandizing exercises which I feel do not entertain so much as be "awesome". While I was watching "Family Guy" there was a screening of a 1985 Mick Jagger - David Bowie dance video, "Dancing in the Streets" , the editorial from "Family Guy" was not complementary. I found the simplicity and normalcy of the set to be real. Jagger and Bowie dance happily and with enthusiasm and the message is friendly and all inclusive. I really liked this primitive low tech video. The dance moves are fluid and skillful and they portray and connotate something which is real and nice.

While I was doing research I noticed that Jagger is going to form a new band?

PAUL SIMON LIVE ROCK CRITIC

 PAUL SIMON         LIVE   ROCK  CRITIC  NINE

Saturday Night Live May 14th 2011 was hosted by Ed Helms, Paul Simon was the musical guest. Paul Simon and his band are highly polished well rehearsed professionals who play well together. They are a large band with a drummer and a percussionist, bass, four guitars at times, there are three keyboards, a harmonium flutes and whistles and more percussion. The result is a pleasing interplay of complex rhythms Paul Simon's trite compact phrasing is integrated into the music that he is directing.               

This is not a type of music which appeals to me, it is easy listening. In his first song "Rewrite" the band enters an ethereal plane with transcendental imagery and fantasy progressions, really good really well rehearsed. This song is reminiscent of Simon and Garfunkel whipped into a light froth quickly whipped like cream with some sugar and vanilla.

An alternative view was provided by my typist who said "Same old chord patterns and plunking used again ". And she further accuses Paul Simon of being like Bruce Coburn, same chords same rhythm

Paul Simon does a great job of  sliding on the acoustic guitar I really can't imagine getting so much sound out of hammering on with the chord hand to slide down, baroom, it is pretty good.

The second song"So Beautiful or So What" is more upbeat and less easy listening than the first song. Paul Simon does a nice job of creating leads on his hollow body electric guitar. The repetition in the vocals began to irritate me. For the type of person whom I think would enjoy this type of music the most, the repetition might not be a problem as part of easy listening is not paying that close attention as I do to music I am listening to.


There is a haunting sarcastic background vocal which is mirrored by a guitar line, but I am not even really sure, I couldn't spot the source of these parts. The entire band does a great job of performing this second song. Paul Simon can sing. I don't get that much out of the lyrics beyond the constantly repeated refrains but I wonder if I expect too much, I am continually unimpressed with the constant repetition in so many songs I hear. The repetition is thought to be part of a formula, I think, time to find new formula and put some intellectual excitement into new songs. For the audience intended to hear the music, Paul Simon and his band were all right for Saturday Night Live.

Postscript:  Ted Nugent and ------ Huckabee on Fox News, damn, that Ted Guy can play guitar what!

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LUPE FIASCO LIVE ROCK CRITIC EIGHT

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LUPE FIASCO LIVE ROCK CRITIC EIGHT

LUPE FIASCO LIVE ROCK CRITIC EIGHT

LUPE FIASCO LIVE ROCK CRITIC EIGHT

Monday May 9th 2011. Lupe Fiasco performed "Words I Never Said" live on Steven Colbert's show. Skylar Grey performed with him. The band was at times a circus, a great rollicking rock machine,. At times: live performance is about having little poor performance and as much as possible of great inspired and best new extensions and improvisations in live performance.

Skylar Grey is only slightly off, could be some misguided guru's idea of cool. The concessions of a rock singer to hip hop are low low rider pants with a drop crotch on a chick yet the style is ugly on a gorgeous women and the unkempt part of her appearance is demeaning and subjugating a beautiful body and a really pretty face.

When Lupe Fiasco starts to rap, despite the fact that he is talking I can only make out the repo part of the rap. The hopping around on stage, hip is the cool part and hop is the dance. The frantic hand waving once agian brings out my ethnocentrophobia. I am looking at ridiculous hand waving, some high speed gang sign. The rythm of hip hop weather Lady Gaga does it or Lupe Fiasco does it sounds like kids on cook pans rhythm.

Perhaps Lupe is responsible for writing the material or producing the band. I do not understand the importance of Lupe otherwise. During the process of researching Lupe Fiasco I am once again shocked to find this person is an award winning and highly praised rap or hip hop artist. I will write something particularly about rap and hip hop and how I think that the acceptance of this amateurish form of performance is a con job.

The predictability of the moves and the bling and the imitation of the appearance and style of Gangster rappers of long ago is really old. I find Skylar and the band overall to at best be mediocre. I think Lupe Fiasco is lousy,mouthing and moving a performance which in my opinion has no redeeming factors

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LIVE ROCK CRITIC EXTRA EDITION

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LIVE ROCK CRITIC EXTRA EDITION

LIVE ROCK CRITIC EXTRA EDITION

Lady Gaga Monster Hype May 8th 2011 @ Madison Square Gardens

I was quite intimidated when I fist thought that I would review the upcoming Lady Gaga Monster Ball Tour. I review musical performances which are accessible and free and you don't have to wait in line or get body searched. I had thought I would stick to Saturday Night Live music guests. The hype brings me out. When a performer is touted by networks and promoters and recieves awards and commendations I have tao take a look.

I began to view Lady Gaga's Monster Ball Tour in the middle, the digital video recorder was operating and I started watching just about where some shelving stocking machinery lifted the lady and some sort of standup bass with two electronic devices fastened to it and if I remember correctly Lady had a pervert overcoat on which is an obscuring enveloping garment and gaga does throw the garment off exposing herself and even plays with herself or vogues the act of masturbation. More Michael Jackson channelling with shamelessly imitative of Thriller choreography and costuming.

The dancers are militantly homo-erotic. I am drawn to remember the videos of the young girl form Winnipeg Manitoba who due to her Youtube fame had a duet with Canada's singing Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, one of my all time favourite video subjects. Harper was baby kissing of course during Election Canada 2011. Lady Gaga is a favourite and idol of Maria Aragon who, performing a Lady Gaga tune became a Youtube success. Maria Aragon who is ten years old appeared with Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga's much hyped performance on television could be viewed by many children.Costumes and violent, degenerate and sadomasochist connotations and appearance characterized much of the Madison Square Gardens performance. In some attempt to be over the top to excess what would children and you people think was cool? By the connotations and Lady Gaga's own promotion of perverted or undefined sexual activity, does some unsuspecting young boy or girl hang out with oh so cool and end up sodomized or tortured? What exactly are the connotations of sexual dysfunction being so cool suppose to mean? And there is the huge musical disappointment.

Stepfani Germanulta starts her Madison Square Gardens Monster Ball Tour by fawning and whining her way into her dressing room. A huge proportion of the two hours is taken up by video of Stephani changing costumes and talking absolute nonsense and self aggrandizing look at me I succeeded. I found something which is done on stage that I despise even more than rap.

If Stephani had any eroticism attached to her when that gross homosexual stood over her and she did her he likes girls he likes boys crap, she

began to become repulsive and I began to notice fat rolls at hip and panty line. All the marching around the stage, I think that was old a quarter of a century ago.

Stephani's voice, it is good, it is on key. Thank God for small mercies. She can play the piano, I am not really a piano expert, the fingering seemed a bit simply to me. The keyboards which Sepfani played sucked and the crowd went wild. I really can't believe how undiscerning people have become. Folks, you are not cheering at an athletic event. Save your cheers whistling and stomping for exceptional performance.

If you close your eyes, Stepfani does not sound much different from those stereotypical female TV vocals which haunt the memories of my childhood. Schmaltz simply sucks, no matter how you drape or costume yourself. One last comment before I get onto the music. What is the red smearing on Stepfani's body suppose to mean? Something for the children again.

The music. I have this same old song over and over impression. Homogeneous meaningless glam rock was shocking or interesting at first, but I think that this hogwash is as dated as the marching around stage. There are numerous musicians which purports a wall of sound but it's a bit like a bunch of cars with really good stereos all turned up loud in a traffic jam. It's noisy it's active and bouncy and frenetic and it continually promises to take us somewhere fabulous but it never does.

I often spend quite a bit of time finding out everybodys' name but I am not going to bother. The guitar player with no shirt on and two studded belts and the skinny pants. Is he really any good? He does a couple of short flashy solos which are hyped as if they were magnificent but they are not. The bass player makes some cool sounds but over what I ask myself.

Lady Stephanie Gaga does sing and play the piano very well. The other time on stage and in the dressing room is filled with tasteless posturing and endless overextended vogueing. The costumes have little relation to the music except in the fantasy sequence where Stepfani wears an animated costume and that is actually what the whole thing is all about. All through the performance I kept observing that yes these people were playing and dancing but some overall style or sense of performance was missing. The overall impression and impact of the show was one of confusion rather than action, and violence and depravity rather than energy and action.

Stepfani tries to establish "street creds"

with her arrival in an old jean jacket with two inches of roots showing below her beehive. The spikes on the gloves once again channelling Micheal Jackson. Geeks never get cool Stepfani no matter what they wear and the negative connotations of your trappings vastly outweighs what ever cool you think you convey thus. The punks and the queers are really cool Stef in a very tiny world which is part of a huge city. Really screwed up stuff is thought to be cool in tiny ethnocentric cuts and enclaves all over the world. Like at Osama's. I am proudly ethnocentricophobic I think "in crowds" suck.

Huge hype and in some ways a waste of air time and audience time. The message as well. I am a heterosexual male with children. Are you trying to tell me Stepfani that I am not cool and these geeks and misfits clad in Thunderdome costumes are, what would Mel Gibson think, these poufs are cool?

Whatever sexual dysfunction you are trying to work out Stepfani why don't you keep it on the downlow, especially on TV. Much of your creative original work reeks of imitation.

The costumes were in no taste at all. Many of the costumes appeared to be costumes for the sake of themselves and not really good costumes either. A performance by a musical star should be about the music. This show was not about the music. Great Musical talent was not demonstrated and a lot of the machinery looked simply ridicules and there was really no theme except gay is great. Why not advertise the Lady Gaga event as what it is. Monster Ball to me indicates an exposition of great talent. How about more accurately Stepfani sings the same song over and over in a great gay blowout. I am sure millions of people would have tuned in. I am tuned out.

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIX MAY 7th 2011 Ellie Gou...

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIX MAY 7th 2011 Ellie Gou...: "LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIX Tina Fey Hosted Saturday Night Live with Ellie Goulding. Ellie Goulding has a very sweet voice but with a limited ..."

LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIX May 7th 2011 Ellie Goulding

LIVE ROCK CRITIC SIX

Tina Fey Hosted Saturday Night Live with Ellie Goulding.

Ellie Goulding has a very sweet voice but with a limited range. Her first song "Lights" moves right along, propelled by her unidentified bassist with a Musicman bass, a drummer and a keyboard. the first hit of oh oh came as light sped into the exciting part and I became aware of a background vocal. I looked all over and I began to think that the backgound vocal was Ellie again. The use of squencers is generally legitimate but there is a band on stage and I define

tly hear too much mucic and the vocal continues when Ellie is not singing along with herself. It seems as if she has actually lost her place in the sequence for this to occur. At the end of the first song the bobbling track bink bonk bink bonk bink bonk, keeps on going after everything else stops. The keyboard player is not moving. This could be deliberate but the overrun on the sequencer track is of the same length as the background vocal in Ellie's voice was.

I danced to lights as I did have to listen to it about eitht times over. It was a good dance, I guess this is the purpose of pop.

I had viewed and listened to the second tune first, an Elton John song. "Your song." which Ellie performed with two live backup singers a piano and strings. In a similar manner to Grace from the Nocturnals problems with the ooo ooh ooo ooooh, which I found lacked relevance and I was struck by the disparity with the lyrics. Somehow I do not get it, as I write, I hear only, and I her schmaltz. Similarily with Lady Gaga, who I will review next, my schmaltz alarms are going off. Am I missing some cachet? Is there something about those stereotypical nineteen fifties TV female vocals that I am not aware of that is cool?

As I tried to research the names of band members I ran into a review with the lyrics to "Lights" I think those lyrics are absolute garbage. I wonder why they were featured. I wonder if I am being too harsh, Ellie looks really nice, but whoever dressed her is no genius, as the review I noticed suggested. I thought she looked bulgy in the middle, and moved in somewhat of a wooden manner.

Once again researching, all kinds of awards, I am shocked. It appears that schmaltzy wooden and ordinary is just great everywhere, not just on Saturday Night Live.