LIVE ROCK CRITIC EXTRA EDITION

Lady Gaga Monster Hype May 8th 2011 @ Madison Square Gardens

I was quite intimidated when I fist thought that I would review the upcoming Lady Gaga Monster Ball Tour. I review musical performances which are accessible and free and you don't have to wait in line or get body searched. I had thought I would stick to Saturday Night Live music guests. The hype brings me out. When a performer is touted by networks and promoters and recieves awards and commendations I have tao take a look.

I began to view Lady Gaga's Monster Ball Tour in the middle, the digital video recorder was operating and I started watching just about where some shelving stocking machinery lifted the lady and some sort of standup bass with two electronic devices fastened to it and if I remember correctly Lady had a pervert overcoat on which is an obscuring enveloping garment and gaga does throw the garment off exposing herself and even plays with herself or vogues the act of masturbation. More Michael Jackson channelling with shamelessly imitative of Thriller choreography and costuming.

The dancers are militantly homo-erotic. I am drawn to remember the videos of the young girl form Winnipeg Manitoba who due to her Youtube fame had a duet with Canada's singing Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, one of my all time favourite video subjects. Harper was baby kissing of course during Election Canada 2011. Lady Gaga is a favourite and idol of Maria Aragon who, performing a Lady Gaga tune became a Youtube success. Maria Aragon who is ten years old appeared with Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga's much hyped performance on television could be viewed by many children.Costumes and violent, degenerate and sadomasochist connotations and appearance characterized much of the Madison Square Gardens performance. In some attempt to be over the top to excess what would children and you people think was cool? By the connotations and Lady Gaga's own promotion of perverted or undefined sexual activity, does some unsuspecting young boy or girl hang out with oh so cool and end up sodomized or tortured? What exactly are the connotations of sexual dysfunction being so cool suppose to mean? And there is the huge musical disappointment.

Stepfani Germanulta starts her Madison Square Gardens Monster Ball Tour by fawning and whining her way into her dressing room. A huge proportion of the two hours is taken up by video of Stephani changing costumes and talking absolute nonsense and self aggrandizing look at me I succeeded. I found something which is done on stage that I despise even more than rap.

If Stephani had any eroticism attached to her when that gross homosexual stood over her and she did her he likes girls he likes boys crap, she

began to become repulsive and I began to notice fat rolls at hip and panty line. All the marching around the stage, I think that was old a quarter of a century ago.

Stephani's voice, it is good, it is on key. Thank God for small mercies. She can play the piano, I am not really a piano expert, the fingering seemed a bit simply to me. The keyboards which Sepfani played sucked and the crowd went wild. I really can't believe how undiscerning people have become. Folks, you are not cheering at an athletic event. Save your cheers whistling and stomping for exceptional performance.

If you close your eyes, Stepfani does not sound much different from those stereotypical female TV vocals which haunt the memories of my childhood. Schmaltz simply sucks, no matter how you drape or costume yourself. One last comment before I get onto the music. What is the red smearing on Stepfani's body suppose to mean? Something for the children again.

The music. I have this same old song over and over impression. Homogeneous meaningless glam rock was shocking or interesting at first, but I think that this hogwash is as dated as the marching around stage. There are numerous musicians which purports a wall of sound but it's a bit like a bunch of cars with really good stereos all turned up loud in a traffic jam. It's noisy it's active and bouncy and frenetic and it continually promises to take us somewhere fabulous but it never does.

I often spend quite a bit of time finding out everybodys' name but I am not going to bother. The guitar player with no shirt on and two studded belts and the skinny pants. Is he really any good? He does a couple of short flashy solos which are hyped as if they were magnificent but they are not. The bass player makes some cool sounds but over what I ask myself.

Lady Stephanie Gaga does sing and play the piano very well. The other time on stage and in the dressing room is filled with tasteless posturing and endless overextended vogueing. The costumes have little relation to the music except in the fantasy sequence where Stepfani wears an animated costume and that is actually what the whole thing is all about. All through the performance I kept observing that yes these people were playing and dancing but some overall style or sense of performance was missing. The overall impression and impact of the show was one of confusion rather than action, and violence and depravity rather than energy and action.

Stepfani tries to establish "street creds"

with her arrival in an old jean jacket with two inches of roots showing below her beehive. The spikes on the gloves once again channelling Micheal Jackson. Geeks never get cool Stepfani no matter what they wear and the negative connotations of your trappings vastly outweighs what ever cool you think you convey thus. The punks and the queers are really cool Stef in a very tiny world which is part of a huge city. Really screwed up stuff is thought to be cool in tiny ethnocentric cuts and enclaves all over the world. Like at Osama's. I am proudly ethnocentricophobic I think "in crowds" suck.

Huge hype and in some ways a waste of air time and audience time. The message as well. I am a heterosexual male with children. Are you trying to tell me Stepfani that I am not cool and these geeks and misfits clad in Thunderdome costumes are, what would Mel Gibson think, these poufs are cool?

Whatever sexual dysfunction you are trying to work out Stepfani why don't you keep it on the downlow, especially on TV. Much of your creative original work reeks of imitation.

The costumes were in no taste at all. Many of the costumes appeared to be costumes for the sake of themselves and not really good costumes either. A performance by a musical star should be about the music. This show was not about the music. Great Musical talent was not demonstrated and a lot of the machinery looked simply ridicules and there was really no theme except gay is great. Why not advertise the Lady Gaga event as what it is. Monster Ball to me indicates an exposition of great talent. How about more accurately Stepfani sings the same song over and over in a great gay blowout. I am sure millions of people would have tuned in. I am tuned out.