LIVE   ROCK  CRITIC   44    cont.........

                                                                           
   More quick reviews. I have my DVR set to record Live From the Artists Den. Some performances are outside off the scope of my reviews. “Vampire Weekend” :  Immature, folky, calipsoish, softly whining with light weight irrelevant musical interludes without warmth power or charisma. tuneless
sparse over using effects (Vocal Master). Horribly irritating vocal style, never changing incomprehensible lyricing and plunking  and plinking the guitars. So weak.


   Tim McGraw’s  band is a whole lot more competent, ``Live From the Artists Den``. Nice vintage instruments and vintage harmony.  Tim McGraw’s band can play complex powerful music. Much of the country country boars me but millions of people love this type of music.

                                                                      
                                                                               Like many of today’s country bands, the modern sound of contemporary electric music create enhance in McGraw’s country tunes.






PBS Great Performances `The Dave Clark 5`. When they were young they were not immature and insipid.  Right from the beginning the Dave Clark 5 were powerful, strident and charismatic. There are instrumental breaks which are short but which voice the lyrical content of the music. The old Dave Clark 5 play some dated tunes with great energy. They can effectively perform really schmaltzy tunes in an entertaining manner. Some of their tunes are futuristic and innovative. I see what is missing from the contemporary bands I review.
                                                                         A lot of tunes I listen to without knowing who performed them where by the Dave Clark 5.  Watch and listen to the DC 5 live color film at the end of PBS Great Performances



                                                                                

              LIVE ROCK CRITIC 44     SPEED REVIEWING THE PERFORMERS 2014

I listen to a lot of televised musical performances . It is in some part random, I recorded all of the Seth Myers Late Night shows. He has the worst house band G band.

 Brett Eldredge just happens to have come up first .Country Music can be rigidly formulated as was “Beat of the Music” but it was actually performed and without faking or mistaking.
                                                                         

Kongos performed the next night .They are a spacey hillbilly band with an accordion which is used like it was an organ. There is a heavy Creole undertone to their work and some interesting leads.
                                                                              

On April 8 we have “ New Politics” . All the stuff I despise, oh oh oo ooh with music by backing track. If you are a fan of break dancing you might enjoy the the very well done end to the performance , just the last ten seconds or so, hang in right to the end.

I am just getting started speed reviewing. The next group I will review is “Fitz and the Tantrums”. Coming up with a rating system, I will arbitrarily rate Fitz and the Tantrums at 50 out of 100. The Tantrums constantly repeat the blandest of statements. Their performance is mediocre, there is not one bit of brilliant musicianship or song craft. I first viewed Fitz and the Tantrums on Seth Myer’s Late Night Program. In addition I viewed their performance at the Ace Hotel on Live from the Artists Den. They would probably get less than a 50 for a performance which had nothing exciting about it despite Fitz who kept trying to stir up enthusiasm by clapping and waving his arms.

                                                                            

Seth Meyer’s smirked as if he had scored a real coup having the great Kanye West on his program. I would give Kanye a 75 for ability, but what should one deduct for backing track use and over use. West can sing and it is credible. The Rap turns me off as usual as no talent crap.

                                                                            

Jason Derulo has a billion You Tube hits and 35 million sales says Seth. Whimp Rap turns me off as usual. Backing tracks including vocals: ``Talk Dirty`` will get a 50 but what deduction for the backing tracks?

                                                                              

``Aint It Fun`` is the name of the band and the song that they played. This band is 90 out of 100. I did not notice backing tracks or fake playing. Everyone was working the music. Credible Rock. I observe what I think are fine instruments and really good amps. I like the vocal style and the way the lead singer Shirley Brown moved naturally and rhythmically

                                                                            

Seth says ``Twenty-One Pilots`` performed at the Grammys. A weird talking zero Art Band. The piano player can play, imitating `Cold Play``. I wonder how much of the music was a backing track. I spotted some for sure.
                                                                            

``Parquet Court`` performed ``Black And White``. Seth says they are a Brooklyn Punk band. The drummer is OK. The vocal is terrible. The guitars are boring, repetitious, and not at all fabulous. Fred Armisen is joining in not doing very much by what I perceive from his hand movements. I will rate this performance at 55.

                                                                                

``Young the Giant`` performed Mind over Matter not my favourite type of Rock, but very well performed. Accomplished musicianship and a versatile and tuneful vocalist who is always on key combined to charge the emotions. The band uses some very nice instruments. The Rickenbacker guitar was used particularly to advantage of its unique sound. The band is solid, every member performing well. Comparing the band I think 95 is appropriate.

                                                                             

``Black Label Society`` performed ``Angel Of Mercy``. The vocal was muddy and the tune dragged along. Of the mark a bit to much, another 50 or maybe a 40. Nice instruments just not very well played.                                                                  

``The 1975`` performed ``. First off`, '75 was different. The pop performed came along after The Fall. And, Seth, this is not really a rock band. The song does not remind me of girls at all. The drummer and base player are competent. They are live I am pretty sure. Good enough for a 60 out of 100.

                                                                                

``Wild Feathers``performed ``Left My Women`` Seth says they play a combination of Rock Country, Folk. And Blues, sounds terrible. Yup, they are; country in my most disliked form. I will award these sing along hillbillies a 35, yup.

                                                                                   

``Counting Crows`` performed ``Round Here``. I have a hard time accepting ``Platinum`` but Seth would not lie. There was credible musicianship and vocal work. There is a very good musical performance at the mid point of the song. I would say 90 out of 100. I won`t say anything about the wig.                                                                       

This Live Rock Critic speed dating thing is so long, possibly so boring too, that I will have to split this in two parts to be continued………………..

PS:  You will get to see even more of Seth’s set with the arch and the lights………..looks like a set that you would piece together by cutting out the parts from the back of cereal boxes.

　

　

LIVE ROCK CRITIC 43 THE NIGHT THAT CHANGED AMERICA

The night that changed America memorializes the first television appearance of the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show. The evening began with the useless loser band Maroon Five. The Beatles songs were good from the sixties or perhaps just good enough for Maroon Five’s poser mediocre music style and just a bit slow would I call this dog shit? The audience was obediently seat dancing to the Cholk Rock of Maroon Five. Paul McCartney looked grimly disappointed. Like if somebody offered a lawn and garden fertilization a renewal a re-birth and then sent their dog over to take a dump. Get this performance on the internet and watch the facial expressions. Of course as always the required thunderous applause. Why?

Stevie Wonder performed on the Hohner clavinet, my first keyboard 1960’s vintage. The tempo of “We Can Work It out” was all wrong, Stevie W’s feel for the song wrong. Someone has told Paul M not to vogue so grimly but I did not see approval as Wonder massacred Johnny Dep introduced Jeff Lynn and Joe Walsh. Depp was as uncharismatic and off as usual. “Maxell’s Silver Hammer” had Joe Walsh’s impeccable guitar but Jeff Lynn in his cheap wig did not get the feel. George Harrison’s son put the vocal in its grove.

Ed Ferin? “in my life”. Ed has the spacing and feel all wrong no baroque piano just one jerk and one guitar played weakly and without resonance.

There was a John Lennon live performance from the past next. What a difference.

On to the stage came one of our modern lamo country accented duos. Can it get worse? Yes. Crap guitar solos which barley related to any Beatles sound. Thunderous applause. I wonder if the audience would applaud the dog in the parable as he defecated? Yes.

Granted many great Beatles tunes are elaborate studio productions technologically now readily available for live performance but that has not happened yet.

Kattie Perry sings “Yesterday”. More grim disappointed faces she is stumbling through the song, no time to learn to do it right. I have seldom liked Perry’s performances but this warbling halting fumbling vocal is filled with off the mark vocal notes.

I try to find something good to review but it almost never happens. When the Beatles, filmed years ago, perform I can tell that they have practised modified and perfected. Imagine Dragons perform “Revolution” with their usual oh oh who oh’s. When I hear quavering vocals I know they don’t know. I wonder if it is that if you don’t write it you can’t do it right.

Dave Grohl and Dave Stewart “Hy Bulldog” gets me up on my feet to dance every time I hear it. This is the sixth time I am listening to it. Pounding reprises of the accurate grove. Check the drummer’s enthusiasm, love the drum rolls and the properly snarling guitar.

Next Katie what’s her name with the more prominent belly than breasts drones on.

Annie Lennox falters her way through “Fool On The Hill”. She warbles instead of singing true notes. Her endings are off.

“Let It Be” with John Legend and Alicia Keys. Alicia’s all wrong faux accent shadings grate on my nerves. Each micro mistake hammers at me. Paul M is grim faced. Then there was some excellent guitar. “Here comes the Sun” with Farrel Williams and Brad Paisley. Ass with Hop Chains and the stupid cowboy hat. McCartney is trying to look pleased but if you look closely you’ll notice the down turned corners of his mouth.

Poseur central. There is some deal or scheme to promote certain individuals or bands as “Star”. Applaud for the highly acclaimed promotee.

Dave Gorhl drums , Joe Walsh on guitar and Garry Clark. I hope this will be a good one. Oh Oh Gorhl’s drums fail to make the grade. Walsh on Guitar, ok; his vocal was terrible, awful. An unknown to me black guitarist sings very well and then Walsh ruins it. I would so much rather here the Beatles with Eric Clapton on lead guitar. This song thrilled me one hundred times, maybe a motivating factor in my writing but not this reprise guys, no thanks.

Ringo Star is active and energetic but I still don’t like his vocals. He did a second old Rock and Roll or Do Wop or what ever vocal not impressed. Ringo next does “Yellow Submarine” he cant sing worth a damn. Still he was more accurately timed and in tune with his talk to music than many famous singers who attempted Beatles work this “Night That Changed America”.

This is what I have been waiting for. Paul McCartney will perform. Paul’s band members are actually better musicians than the sixties Beatles. Paul is happy. The band is right on time and tune and creates the correct atmosphere. Most of the performers remind me of the “Walking Dead”, like slow en-vocative zombies doing zombie versions of Beatles tunes. Paul and his band live Beatles tunes. The performances of “They Say Its Your Birthday” and “Get Back” are in comparable to the rest of the program. The timing, the stops, the correct riff. A great band. The vocals and harmony: Wow!

McCartney’s band is certainly well trained and well rehearsed by the guy who was there when the tunes were written. She Was Just Seventeen: I think I first heard this song in the residence lounge at University. David Roth brought the tiny cardboard stereo and the Beatles record into the lounge saying you have got to hear this.

I have always liked Sergeants Peppers Lonely Heart’s Club Band. And I still do. How can the Eurhythmics and Alicia Keys live with themselves, so lame compared to ancient Paul M. Even the Ringo Star talk to music works. Paul is watching the vocal to stay right on time, McCartney and his band sing together its so good it almost hurts.

　

LIVE ROCK CRITIC 42      GIRL BAND AND GIRL



As I watch television I peruse the listings. I see musical acts which will be performing and I set my DVR to record the program. I got MIA and HAIM this week. Girl and Girl band. Don’t you have to be able to sing better than a sing along, which is what the weak vocals in Haim sound like. Sing along is not rock and roll.

                                                                                      

HAIM performed December 7^th 2013 on Saturday Night Live and MIA was hosted by Stephen Colbert the week before.

I do not know what the MIA message is except: I am so cute I can do absolutely anything in front of my recorded music-like tracks.

The musical backing and performance for both MIA and HAIM is sparse and has none of the excitement and dynamic change which should characterize a live rock performance. I believe that MIA and HAIM purport to be rock performance.

The performers are excited it seems as they plod through lacklustre rendition of repetition.

　

Maroon five was the first group I thought delivered a tiny bit of almost music with a huge dose of we are so cool we really do not have to play or sing.

Repetitious and undistinguished lyrics delivered by persons who cannot sing and bland unexciting music are becoming the norm. I was watching a David Foster interview. He said that without star power there was no hope that a great performance could be created.

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LIVE ROCK CRITIC FORTY-ONE: CRITICIZING THE REF...

LIVE ROCK CRITIC: LIVE ROCK CRITIC FORTY-ONE:    CRITICIZING THE REF...: LIVE ROCK CRITIC FORTY-ONE:    CRITICIZING THE REFLECTORS I cannot help myself; I am absolutely truthful and sincere in my criticism. I...

LIVE ROCK CRITIC FORTY-ONE:    CRITICIZING THE REFLECTORS

I cannot help myself; I am absolutely truthful and sincere in my criticism. Informed that an act is great I watch and listen. I have viewed and heard great performances. If I do not experience the fine music which I am looking for I will analyze what is the problem.

I get right into finding fault, spotting flaws and exposing fakes. I can't help myself.

Jelena Adzic gushes over Arcade Fire’s double disc with five minute plus tracks “Absolutely killing it” with mush music. Next, enthusiastic about Blue Rodeo’s same old folky country. To add to the mediocrity “Henly “ whoever they are spewed insipid pap in the Canadian tradition of not quite Rock crooning . It is hard to really Rock. Enthusiasm, inspiration and much calculation and rehearsal can result in the exciting space changing music which I think Rock Music should be.

I despise weak Rock and folky Rock and country Rock but I do realize that there are many people who do enjoy all that bastardized Rock and even bebop and rap.
                                                                          

I am certain that “Arcade Fire ‘ consider themselves to be a Rock Band. Have they tightened and toughened, and practiced ? Are they ready to Rock.. I will be honest and open minded as I listen to “Arcade Fire Reflectors” slow moving fumbling start. I am listening intently, hoping things will pick up .The slow fumbling is a foil, an antipasto with the main course of Rock to come. I have doubts, are most people satisfied with what I am dismissing?


The Reflectors have thrown off their paper heads and emerged as the huge mob of the Arcade Fire Gang.                                                                  

 The lead guitar spits out a hot lick, a bit like a splash of hot sauce on a gefriska matzo, the bland flour paste is not improved by hot sauce, garish the sauce floats as an irritant on the tasteless pap. The drums are weak, rhythm not very punctuated timely nor precise
                                                                     
There is a turn on a dime reaction time in Rock music . The musicians must function together like the parts of a machine, unfailingly reacting with strength and certainty to each change in the music the rest of the band is performing. As wrist pins and pistons follow con rods attached to the crankshaft the instruments have to be precisely worked by the musicians. There are options in Rock and Roll where leads surf on a bed of sound.

There is a matter of relevance which governs those options. Arcade Fire creates a swarm of unconnected rhythms and leads which are not a viable substitute for the solid backing which Rock leads require. There is another type of skill required where the music moves the listener. What lends real excitement and drama to a Rock performance ?. I think that a large part of that depends on the vision of the writer.

There is a lack of any coherence in the “Reflectors” performance I am criticizing which aired on the Stephen Colbert Report. Repeating and reprising do not create coherence.

Did anyone else notice that when the performance was over Wynn leaned his guitar up against his amplifier to rush up and embrace Stephen Colbert and the guitar fell over and crashed to the floor.

                                          LIVE ROCK CRITIC 40   ELTON  AND  CYRUS

 

 

 

Flamboyant and politically incorrect sexuality is portrayed by both of these performers. Elton is slowly losing it and Miley is just getting it. Seeking fame through extravagance and notoriety is classic rock methodology.

                                                   

Flashy costumes and provocative lyrics characterize their performance. Miley is wilder of course as it is 2014. As radically as Elton john portrayed himself it was a more restrained time. Miley is more overt and I thought she was her best at the MTV Music Video Awards 2013. I am listening to Elton John “Live in East London”. It has been schmaltzy, the voice pretends instead of in the old days exhorting and explaining. Elton has a new album “The Diving Board”. New song “Home Again”, not very energetic very schmaltz, melodic and ponderous but just a bit weak. Fortunately there are no backing tracks everyone plays live; but “Home Again” sounds like many old Elton John Hymns. “ Oscar Wilde Gets Out” is more of a dirge than a hymn. Folk music with a hint of Gypsy and a twist Rachimonov produced a mildly spiced schmaltz.

                                                                              

During his performance of “Levon” Elton is doing a more energetic job at this point with some very complicated high notes, all live. “Rocket Man” has some spacey new sounds in it on slide guitar and synth. Elton does sound just like he always did right now live.

I have fast forwarded through the dated boozy hymns. They are fast, probably good to dance drunk to years ago. The voice sounds insincere on some of the old songs sung to many times.

Miley Cyrus has been performing since she was a child. Her successful father had the music industry connections. Her role as Hanna Montana was and still is widely televised. “Hanna Montana” and “Breakout” albums made her more successful than most adult musicians.

Miley’s sexual posturing at fifteen should have prepared us for Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke at the MTV Video Awards.

The portrayal of sex on the MTV Video Music Awards is the logical extension of her self promoted image. I do not think a twenty year old is a child. She is an entitled permitted and credible sexy actress. I thought that the direction and the choreography of her performance at the MTV Music Video Awards with Robin Thicke are stunning; In my opinion the performance was a well planned and executed portrayal of how many adults really look at sex and love. The performance was a Voguging of heterosexual lust.

Miley on Saturday Night Live. On October 26^th 2013 I witnessed Janelle Monae performing on SNL. Her performance was mediocre with her band producing weird fractured music. Once again I wonder why would she be on Saturday Night Live.

October 26^th 2013 Miley Cyrus is on Saturday Night Live appropriately as everyone is talking about her and she is performing in a manner which is similar to the performances hosted on SNL. Her band played live and played well to her core audience in her first number. The performance was not spectacular but it was very well received.

I didn’t like her second number on October 6^th 2013 on SNL. Cyrus looked sick and drained compared to her rousing performance at the MTV Awards.

LIVE ROCK CRITIC 39     Musical Wastelame

　

I moved to Moncton New Brunswick in 1958. The radio stations in the Maritimes played two types of music, downeast music was very old fashioned fiddle heavy chorale. What you had with downeast music was mad fiddling and gigging with everyone in the band singing at once all the time. Don Messer and the Islanders were extremely popular.

                                                                            

Drug store cowboy music was the other type of music offered by the radio stations in New Brunswick and the rest of the Maritimes. Perhaps this was when I learned to dislike country and western music. The C&W was particularly schmaltzy, one song after another about dead horses and dogs and lost loves. It was all very much the same, one country song after another.

                                                                            

Are we in a new musical wastelame? Do promoters find cute performers and regardless of lack of talent push these performers forward, book them and hype them and what do we have as a result? Photogenic meritocracy

　

Canada Day was a lame rock convention. There were acts which were not bad but not good, Is there anything so foolish as mediocrity on a huge stage, hyped by enthusiastic introduction and most perplexing, positively received by an applauding audience.

 

 

Carly Rae Jepson performed the same tune twice in Ottawa on Canada Day. The same tune in the same limited atonal vocal range. The second worst was probably Marie Mai, the backing track was an uninspiring unchanging mass of mush with faked bass and guitar. Marie did the jello waddle.

Sylvain Cossette had a real band which could actually play they were a bit laid back and too country for my liking but there was some good entertaining musicianship.

Presented with the hugest hype and lights was the band Metric. The announcer touted Metric as an exceptional award winning band. The music was pre-recorded, poorly. I am absolutely sure, by repeatedly viewing and listening, that the music was pre-recorded, with vocals when no one was singing and an organ which was not present on stage. There were two keyboards on stage but were they actually played. Stadium Love was un-dynamic mush with stupid lyrics and crappy guitar complete with extraneous running around on stage.

Metrics second number “Breathing Under Water” was a bit better. There was a really great light show and laser show with fireworks. All of the trappings and gear but unfortunately not a lot of talent on Canada Day.

                                                                                                         

　

Stephen Colbert is a leading competitor in or the lame rock presenter of all time. With Postal Service performed on July 8^th 2013 “ The Postal Service” performed a pathetic weak mumbling vocal to a computer derived backing track. I am watching the performers hands and mouths as I listened. I would describe The Postal Service as having ZERO musical skills. The Front Women carries a guitar all through the performance but does one or two second leads, Postal Service has out posed Phoenix.

I have just cued up another Stephen Colbert, must be payola, performance to their credit “The Lumineers” are playing their instruments but unfortunately no one in the band can really play or sing. The same refrain is repeated over and over again, how boring this.

                                                                            

The incredible lameness of so many of Stephen Colbert’s guest bands is amazing and seems irrational to me. Stephen Colbert is a successful entertainer with a successful show. I am very suspicious as to what would motivate Colbert to host such lame “rock” losers.

Many of the readers of Live Rock Critic could access the Stephen Colbert performances, really, take a look and listen for yourself.

　

                                                                             

 

　

LIVE ROCK CRITIC 38 STUPID

I might be stupid reviewing the artists on TV.

The promoters of modern musical acts might be stupid.

Promoters and television executives might think that                                         

Audiences are stupid.

Stupid is perhaps an overall descriptive adjective

Appropriately applied to many modern musical acts.

I am deeply touched by how incredibly talent less so many highly promoted musical acts are hyped, featured and falsely praised.

Beyonce just happened to be the first act I viewed and listened to since I wrote LRC 37 about Paul McCartney.

The Beyonce Act immediately impressed me with the hugely uninspired choreography. Despite the overwhelming unexcitingness and the undistinguished performance Beyonce struts around like she is producing a great triumph. She dances all through her performance but is any of it any good? I didn’t think so. The memory sticks in my mind of
Beyonce wallowing sexually in front of a fakery of a drummers performance as a talent less boob beats drums in a fake ecstatic frenzy.

Beyonce exhibits an extremely limited vocal range. I find her singing amateurish and not at all cute. I don’t know what to think Beyonce is trying to portray as she exhibits puerile and vulgar and sexual posturing with an angry aggressive look on her face?                                        

                                    

On and On the muddy over vocalised mush goes on an on. Try to make it exciting, use sex, discharge fireworks: Who thinks this woman is great? The whole Beyonce scene reeks of cheap rap crap. The presentation is straight from pimpsville .

One line for Phoenix, poseurs.                              

Arcade Fire live at the Artists Den, 2012. I am continually surprised how the audience loves really poorly done live music. Perhaps they have to be told of greatness, then someone could shout at them and beat on pans, oh that’s rap.      

                     

Arcade Fire is a barely organized large band. No one can sing, there are no spectacular band moves, no great individual musical instrument performances. One weak vocal weaker than the last, pathetic solos, another modern 1910 Fruit Gum Company.

 

 

Rap. Yes the rap goon squad, Chris Brown and Drake bitch fighting, scratching each other or something like that in some crappy night club. Drake holding a vigil outside of Little Wayne’s hospital room, what else, most of the soap operas are off TV, it looks like the rappers are going to take over that emotional slob slot.

                                                                             

The rap Clown Dance: One act after another with pre-recorded background tapes and creepy dudes faking the playing of instruments. Macklemore with Ryan Lewis, the performances where fruity Macklemore wears gold epaulets is the epitome of “Clown Dance” Another sticking feature of this act and so many modern acts is constant personnel changes.

                                                                              

When Macklemore appeared on Steven Colbert’s show, the big black guy was missing who either did or just faked on stage the only good vocalization in the entire Clown Dance with gold epaulets performance.

Macklemore's performance on Steven Colbert was absolutely the pits and incomprehensible as well. Gay is so cool today, why not gay rap, despite all the homophobia portrayed in rap I have always thought that many or most of those dudes were on the downlow.

                                                                                 

Macklemore was either bragging or complaining about what I would guess was growing up gay somewhere.

 

Saturday Night Live May 11^th 2013. I have to admit that as I search for excellence I am really expecting to find goofs in today’s new bands. Vampire Weekend, right from the first note, weak vocal mediocre musicianship, what are these jerks doing on national TV?                    

                                                                                

More terrible on Saturday Night Live: Justin “Yuk” Timmberlake. Timberlake’s first number harks back to the Fifties with a muddy chorus and Justin’s shallow effeminate tenor. There is a very effective and very good choreography show, but the erotic fantasy is far from mainstream. Am I shallow, or politically incorrect as I voice my criticism of prissy dated femmemoves by men dancing?

                                                    

The National, May 22 2013 on Steven Colbert. Steven Colbert describes the National as dark and perfectionist. What an ass Stephen makes of himself, does he do it for money, do all these odd ball musical nerds pay their way onto national TV?

The National produced pathetic musicianship, uninspired and entirely lacking the excitement of rock. The singer was too intimidated to look up.

Surpassing all of the blandness, irrelevance and weakness of all of Saturday Night Live’s mediocrity is Canada’s own Anne Murray and Friends. Truly disappointing moves, music that never soars or swells, vocals that never soar or swell, I feel ennui regarding my own song writing and a sense of worthlessness and meaninglessness as I watch the established artists Anne Murray, Jan Arden and K. D. Lang and their friends in self laudatory repertoire performances falling in love over and over again always in the same old voice.