LIVE ROCK CRITIC 39     Musical Wastelame

　

I moved to Moncton New Brunswick in 1958. The radio stations in the Maritimes played two types of music, downeast music was very old fashioned fiddle heavy chorale. What you had with downeast music was mad fiddling and gigging with everyone in the band singing at once all the time. Don Messer and the Islanders were extremely popular.

                                                                            

Drug store cowboy music was the other type of music offered by the radio stations in New Brunswick and the rest of the Maritimes. Perhaps this was when I learned to dislike country and western music. The C&W was particularly schmaltzy, one song after another about dead horses and dogs and lost loves. It was all very much the same, one country song after another.

                                                                            

Are we in a new musical wastelame? Do promoters find cute performers and regardless of lack of talent push these performers forward, book them and hype them and what do we have as a result? Photogenic meritocracy

　

Canada Day was a lame rock convention. There were acts which were not bad but not good, Is there anything so foolish as mediocrity on a huge stage, hyped by enthusiastic introduction and most perplexing, positively received by an applauding audience.

 

 

Carly Rae Jepson performed the same tune twice in Ottawa on Canada Day. The same tune in the same limited atonal vocal range. The second worst was probably Marie Mai, the backing track was an uninspiring unchanging mass of mush with faked bass and guitar. Marie did the jello waddle.

Sylvain Cossette had a real band which could actually play they were a bit laid back and too country for my liking but there was some good entertaining musicianship.

Presented with the hugest hype and lights was the band Metric. The announcer touted Metric as an exceptional award winning band. The music was pre-recorded, poorly. I am absolutely sure, by repeatedly viewing and listening, that the music was pre-recorded, with vocals when no one was singing and an organ which was not present on stage. There were two keyboards on stage but were they actually played. Stadium Love was un-dynamic mush with stupid lyrics and crappy guitar complete with extraneous running around on stage.

Metrics second number “Breathing Under Water” was a bit better. There was a really great light show and laser show with fireworks. All of the trappings and gear but unfortunately not a lot of talent on Canada Day.

                                                                                                         

　

Stephen Colbert is a leading competitor in or the lame rock presenter of all time. With Postal Service performed on July 8^th 2013 “ The Postal Service” performed a pathetic weak mumbling vocal to a computer derived backing track. I am watching the performers hands and mouths as I listened. I would describe The Postal Service as having ZERO musical skills. The Front Women carries a guitar all through the performance but does one or two second leads, Postal Service has out posed Phoenix.

I have just cued up another Stephen Colbert, must be payola, performance to their credit “The Lumineers” are playing their instruments but unfortunately no one in the band can really play or sing. The same refrain is repeated over and over again, how boring this.

                                                                            

The incredible lameness of so many of Stephen Colbert’s guest bands is amazing and seems irrational to me. Stephen Colbert is a successful entertainer with a successful show. I am very suspicious as to what would motivate Colbert to host such lame “rock” losers.

Many of the readers of Live Rock Critic could access the Stephen Colbert performances, really, take a look and listen for yourself.