I HAVE TO GET TO BE FIT ENOUGH TO RE-INSTITUTE MUSIC PRACTICE.
IN THE 1990'S I WOULD WRITE SONGS, PRACTICE THEM UNTIL I COULD DO THEM PERFECTLY, THEN ON A NEW DAY OF PRACTICE, START BY PLAYING THE SONG THREE TIMES IN A ROW AND RECORDING IT. THERE ARE A NUMBER OF 2005 ON VIDEOTAPED VERSIONS OF THE WRITE, PRACTICE, AND RECORD PROCESS BEING EXECUTED. THERE ARE THREE HUNDRED HOURS OF STEREO TAPES MADE ON A SONY HX PRO USING NEW ONE SIDE ONLY HIGHEST QUALITY TAPE
SHELL SHOCK MAY BE AN IMPORTANT CONTRIBUTOR TO MY TONIC IMMOBILITY, COLLAPSE AND THE VIRTUAL TO TOTAL PARALYSIS WHICH I AM EXPERIENCING NOW. I CANNOT EVEN DO MY, PREVIOUSLY ALWAYS DONE DAILY, MUSIC PRACTICE.
I FIND MYSELF, REPEATEDLY, IN A SEMI-FETAL POSITION. I AM HALF CURLED AND MY LEFT LEG IS BENT MORE THAN THE RIGHT LEG. I DO NOT MOVE A MUSCLE.
Postscript: I often do not get relief without applying traction to my back and/or neck, or legs and in addition, often, I have to interlock my fingers and apply traction by curling my hand to pull on my fingers and my arm or I pull out my fingers by grasping and twisting my fingers and applying traction to my finger joints.
THIS IS THE "THROWN DOWN" PART OF ONE OF THOSE MOTHER'S ATTACKS WHERE MY NECK WAS TWISTED TO THE RIGHT AND THEN YANKED BACK TO THE LEFT AND I WAS THROWN TO THE FLOOR.
WHEN I WAS SNUCK UP ON AND THROWN DOWN, AND SOMETIMES JUMPED ON AS WELL, A PAVLOVIAN COLLAPSE RESPONSE WAS CREATED.
I CAN COLLAPSE IF I AM THREATENED OR IF I THINK SOMEONE IS GOING TO SNEAK UP ON ME OR IF AN UNJUST PUNISHMENT IS ATTEMPTED. THE IMPOSITION OF A PLAN TO HAVE NUMEROUS AUTHORITIES STALK, CHARGE AND JAIL ME CREATES A WEAKNESS IN MY ENTIRE BODY.
WHEN I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY HOSTILE PERSONS I HAVE COLLAPSED, USUALLY DOWN MY LEFT SIDE, WHICH COMPRESSED AND INJURED MY KNEE.
AFTER EVERY INJURY, COLLAPSE OR CONVULSION, VIRTUAL PARALYSIS AND TONIC IMMOBILITY SET IN, ALONG WITH, AT THE WORST, THE REVERSE ARCHED BACK WHICH IS A SYMPTOM OF
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